Continuity: A Junior Self-Portrait Diptych by Rebecca Walton (2011)
I Am. I am sensitive and mindful. I wonder what I can do to be satisfied. I hear hundreds of thoughts. I see my journal. I want to relax. I am sensitive and mindful. I pretend everything is under control. I feel my heart racing. I touch my face. I worry there is no resolution. I cry because there are only 24 hours in a day. I am sensitive and mindful. I understand patterns are repeated. I say being different creates obstacles that I want to overcome. I dream of acceptance. I try to participate. I hope for balance. I am sensitive and mindful . My images were meant to visually represent the anxiety I face on a day-to-day basis, and how I struggle to learn from my mistakes. Constantly my mind is rushing with a plethora of thoughts, and I stress myself out by trying to focus on all of them at once. The stopwatches in the right image were my way of showing how overwhelming it can be to have all of them running simultaneously. From these distractions, I've noticed I can become sensitive and vulnerable. The mental exhaustion I undergo causes me to be weak in the exterior world. My shield to critique can disintegrate and I will often misinterpret comments. Another reason why I chose to use stopwatches is because time in particular has always been an extremely obscure and compelling topicIt is one of the very few things in the world that is unchangeable, which leaves me uneasy. The eraser shavings on the left were to symbolize the mistakes I've made from excessively stressingI arranged them in an intricate design in order to show that they don't have the appropriate influence on me when I make decisionsI don't regard my experiences when I'm faced with situations similar to my pastInstead, I overreact and will make repeated misinterpretations. Even though the most recent mistakes are most lit and clear, I will never be able to put my past completely behind me. Many seemingly miniscule events can compile and have an impact on my mind; this is similar to the design the tiny eraser shavings made. Rather than be scattered and seen as very small, they have formed together to make a continuous trail.